Skip to main content

North Korea defector living with quarter of a century of guilt

By Paula Hancocks, CNN
June 12, 2012 -- Updated 2155 GMT (0555 HKT)
STORY HIGHLIGHTS
  • Oh Kil-nam defected from North Korea 25 years ago, but his wife and two daughters remain behind
  • South Korean and Swedish governments have tried to intercede on his behalf
  • First and only communication from family was in 1991; believed held in notorious prison camp
  • "I made such a foolish decision which has caused my family to suffer such hardship"

Seoul (CNN) -- Oh Kil-nam refuses to keep a single photo of his family in his home. He says it's just too painful.

For more than 25 years, Oh has lived with the guilt of knowing his wife and two daughters are being held against their will in North Korea because of a choice he made.

"I made such a foolish decision," Oh says, "which has caused my family to suffer such hardship in the hands of an outrageous criminal organization. It doesn't help even if I repent, my heart is torn with sorrow."

Oh, a native of South Korea, moved his family to Pyongyang in 1985 despite his wife's reservations on the promise of a good job and free medical treatment for his wife's hepatitis, but when they arrived he realized he had been tricked.

N. Korea's Kim alters style, not policy

He says there was not a job nor medical help for his wife, just three months of what he calls, "lectures from day to night on North Korea ideology, history and brainwashing." He was then forced to work in a radio station broadcasting propaganda.

North Korea preparing another nuke test?

Oh was sent to Denmark the following year to lure more South Koreans to the communist state. But when he arrived at customs, Oh handed them a piece of paper asking to defect. Held for two months in detention in Germany, he was questioned by different intelligence agencies, including he says the CIA. He was then freed and moved to South Korea.

N. Korea mob dismembers S. Korea effigy

But his nightmare had only just begun.

Baptist singers take trip to N. Korea

Oh learned his wife and daughters, only aged 6 and 9 when they first moved to North Korea, were sent to a concentration camp as punishment for his defection. In 1991, he received the first and last message from them.

Three black and white photos and recorded messages from his family. Oh and the human rights workers believe they were recorded by North Korean officials as a trap to lure him back.

His youngest daughter says, "I miss you dad, I don't know you and I need to grow up fast so I can help mum and I feel regret but now I can lift water buckets and wood very well." Studying the photos, some defectors have told Oh they believe they were taken in the notorious Yodok concentration camp.

His eldest daughter tells him, "Hi dad, it's Haewon, I dreamt the other day that I was celebrating my birthday with you. I miss you. It's been a while since I said the word father and my tears are falling."

On the tape, his wife wonders when she will see him again.

Oh looks at the photos of his family. Thinking back to when he first received them he shakes his head. "I am ... psychologically and physically, totally destroyed," he says. "I have literally no feeling."

He says he feels helpless and all his hopes now rest with the United Nations and the South Korean President. The UN body on arbitrary detention has petitioned North Korea to release the family, saying their detention is "arbitrary," but the response has not been positive.

Pyongyang claims Oh's wife has already died from her hepatitis and his daughters want nothing to do with him as they say he deserted them. Oh refuses to believe either claim.

South Korea has increased diplomatic pressure on Pyongyang. President Lee Myung bak asked the Swedish King, Carl Gustav for assistance. Sweden has an embassy in Pyongyang and has, in the past, acted as a neutral broker for countries with no presence there.

All Oh can do now is wait -- as he has for the past quarter of a century. And hope he will live to see his daughters freed.

"Every night I have nightmares,' he says. "I'm more than 70 years old now and exhausted but I will stay alive until I can hold my two daughters again."

CNN'S K.J. Kwon contributed to this report

ADVERTISEMENT
Part of complete coverage on
February 6, 2013 -- Updated 1526 GMT (2326 HKT)
Advocates say the exam includes unnecessarily invasive and irrelevant procedures -- like a so-called "two finger" test.
February 6, 2013 -- Updated 0009 GMT (0809 HKT)
Supplies of food, clothing and fuel are running short in Damascus and people are going hungry as the civil war drags on.
February 6, 2013 -- Updated 1801 GMT (0201 HKT)
Supporters of Richard III want a reconstruction of his head to bring a human aspect to a leader portrayed as a murderous villain.
February 5, 2013 -- Updated 1548 GMT (2348 HKT)
Robert Fowler spent 130 days held hostage by the same al Qaeda group that was behind the Algeria massacre. He shares his experience.
February 6, 2013 -- Updated 0507 GMT (1307 HKT)
As "We are the World" plays, a video shows what looks like a nuclear attack on the U.S. Jim Clancy reports on a bizarre video from North Korea.
The relationship is, once again, cold enough to make Obama's much-trumpeted "reset" in Russian-U.S. relations seem thoroughly off the rails.
Ten years on, what do you think the Iraq war has changed in you, and in your country? Send us your thoughts and experiences.
February 5, 2013 -- Updated 1215 GMT (2015 HKT)
Musician Daniela Mercury has sold more than 12 million albums worldwide over a career span of nearly 30 years.
Photojournalist Alison Wright travelled the world to capture its many faces in her latest book, "Face to Face: Portraits of the Human Spirit."
February 6, 2013 -- Updated 0006 GMT (0806 HKT)
Europol claims 380 soccer matches, including top level ones, were fixed - as the scandal widens, CNN's Dan Rivers looks at how it's done.
February 6, 2013 -- Updated 1237 GMT (2037 HKT)
That galaxy far, far away is apparently bigger than first thought. The "Star Wars" franchise will get two spinoff movies, Disney announced.
February 8, 2013 -- Updated 0718 GMT (1518 HKT)
It's an essential part of any trip, an activity we all take part in. Yet almost none of us are any good at it. Souvenir buying is too often an obligatory slog.
ADVERTISEMENT